“I hope you don’t have to stick anyone else today, that really hurt. Joe didn’t hurt me like that last time I needed an IV.” Hearing negative feedback is difficult for anyone and hearing it from a patient can be even harder. This was a comment from a patient early in my career. I was new to inserting IV’s and lacked the confidence that Joe had.
Even though that comment stung, it made me determined to get better at inserting IV’s. If you want to enjoy your career, it is important to learn to reframe the negatives to something positive.
What is interesting about feedback is that most people do not like to give negative feedback, yet most people want to hear it! This comes out of a study published in the Harvard Business Review. More people wanted corrective feedback rather than praise probably because most people want to do the best job they can do. In the case of the IV, the patient’s comment was instructive. Not all feedback comes across this way.
I remember a patient who, after changing major dressings, doing wound care and completely changing her linens, drains and tubes asked me “if I had any talents.” I was stunned. I stood there in shock thinking through the last hour I spent managing these complex wounds realizing my knowledge base and critical thinking required to successfully accomplish this goal was not something the patient related to.
Eventually, I said in a quiet voice, “Oh, do you mean do I sing or dance?” And the patient replied, “Yes, I sang in my choir for 30 years and I really miss it.” This type of feedback is more general and harder to manage.
Here are 3 things you can do to reframe it into something positive:
1. Consider the source and the context. Who is giving you the feedback, what is their motive and in what situation is the comment being given? In this case, the patient wanted to find something to talk to me about and since she loved singing, she asked me if I had any talents like this.
While the way she said it was abrupt, it was hard for me because I can’t carry a tune in a bucket and have always felt bad because of it. This had nothing to do with the patient’s question and was my own personal issue. Personal issues can often skew perspective making it harder to hear the value hidden in the feedback. This brings us to the second step.
2. Listen and clarify. It is important to stay open and clarify what someone means before you react. Quickly realizing the patient wasn’t tuned into what I was doing, the wound changes and the nursing process involved, I asked a question that related to her. This enabled me to find out the patient just wanted to talk about something she really loved.
3. Engage in reflection. This is an important part of a successful nursing career. Rather than ruminate about the day and worry about things that happened or might happen, spend time objectively looking at your day and what worked well and what could be better. This process helps you grow and develop, learn from mistakes and increase your confidence.
Handling negative feedback is a skill that will serve you personally and professionally. These 3 steps will help when you realize that while the comments may be directed at you – it is really not personal. Being able to learn from the experience and be a better nurse because of it will increase your sense of satisfaction. And this is what really matters at the end of the day.
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