Nurses need to earn trust from their coworkers and patients to avoid ethical nursing dilemmas. Do they trust you? Do they really? Are you sure? How do you know?
I liked her, I really did. I still do but something has changed. She's my colleague, but more than that, she became my friend. Then, one day, we were supposed to share a room together for a nursing conference and she cancelled at the last minute. Oh well.
Then she didn't show up for a class we were supposed to teach together. Oh well.
Then she didn't do the work she was supposed to do in a timely fashion. Three strikes and you're out.
While I still like her, respect her and consider her a friend, the trust meter has gone way down. Even after talking out the situation, there was little explanation, acknowledgment or apologies for any of these events, and I was left baffled, stewing and disappointed.
Trust builds slowly over a long period of time, yet it can be broken in an instant, so it's critical to mean what you say and say what you mean, to come from a place of integrity, and to extend the trust to others to create the reciprocity effect.
Whether it's your patients, your nursing coworkers, the doctors, your children, your spouse, your parents, or even pets (smile!), chances are, you would benefit from learning how to garner more trust and build positive relationship from others, but how?
According to the Trust Ambassador, Robert Whipple, Reinforcing Candor can put you on the right road. Robert defines this concept as, "the ability to make people feel glad they brought up an observation of a leader's (that's you!) inconsistency." Easier said than done!
The problem is that when we are "criticized" (read: inconsistency), our backs tend to go up and we get very defensive. What would it be like if we could put Robert's concept into action? Even if we didn't agree with the statement (which we don't have to), the person would walk away feeling acknowledged, heard and valued, thereby making the trust meter go up.
Try statements like these:
- I'm glad you felt comfortable enough with me to tell me that.
- Thank you for sharing.
- If you hadn't mentioned it, I would never have known. Thank you.
Here are a few other suggestions for developing trust:
- Admit your mistakes, especially if it was one that no one would have otherwise known. It humanizes you and shows transparency. Very classy.
- ethics in nursingConsistency is also critical in developing trust. People need to know what to expect in a given situation. If I do A, it leads to B - this time and every time. If A leads to B once in a while, to C sometimes and to L here and there, it is hard for me to trust you.
- Act in the best interests of others - even if it is not the popular thing to do.
- Praise publicly but coach privately - be respectful of them.
We want to empower others and we want others to trust us by slow, frequent deposits in the "trust account" will pay off in spades, over time. This is an important factor in preventing.
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