What Exactly is Suicide?
The first thing I did was I looked up synonyms of suicide in the thesaurus attached to my word document. This is how Microsoft Word defined it: recklessness, perversity, rashness, irresponsibility, and madness. I certainly wasn’t expecting such defaming words to describe a vulnerable population.
As a mental health nurse, I work directly with people who are actively thinking about ending their lives. Synonyms such as reckless, perverse, rash, irresponsible and mad do not cross my mind when I sit beside a patient who is fraught with the decision to live or die. Most of my patients have:
- Rehearsed their suicide plan
- Googled ways to die
- Written suicide notes
- Prepared themselves for the afterlife by giving away their belongings and wrapping up any loose ends
- Sought help before they tried suicide
- Have purchased guns or stockpiled medications
- Made an attempt or several attempts (some planned and some impulsive)
- Been admitted to an Intensive Care Unit following a highly lethal attempt
- Been resuscitated and lived
I guess some would construe these acts as madness, but call me foolish, I was hoping that as a society, we are moving toward being less judgmental and more compassionate and empathetic of the suicidal mind. Those who attempt or complete suicide are often trying to escape from intense emotions such as hopelessness, guilt or shame. Most, if given the choice, would prefer to live; but cannot find solutions to their problems. They may believe they are a burden to their significant others. They might be isolated and feel all alone.
Suicide Has Become a Global Epidemic
In honour of those who have died by suicide and the loved ones they left behind, it might be advantageous to reflect on our own professional and personal views about it.
I asked this one question on social media “Complete this sentence, suicide is…” It is astounding how much data one can collect on the internet in a short period of time. People had powerful opinions about suicide, some were heartfelt while others were zealous. Here are a few themes I captured. Suicide is:
- A selfish act
- One’s right to choose
- Bad and immoral
- Sad but preventable
- Scary because of spiritual beliefs
- A viable option
- Peaceful
- A sin
- Control
- A cure for loneliness
- Not taken serious enough
- A cry for help
- Unnecessary
I spend a lot of time assessing for suicidal ideation, intent, means and plan with each and every client. I am not afraid to talk about suicide. In fact, I am more afraid not to. Talking about suicide won’t make someone deliberately end his life. On the contrary, not talking about it may end badly for you and your patient.
It Leaves A Mark
Even though I talk to my patients about suicide, I have had three patients end their lives. They weren’t under my care at the time but that didn’t make their deaths any easier. I also lost a family member to suicide as well. I dealt with each in my own way.
The first suicide I took very hard but I wrote a peer-reviewed journal article in her memory in hopes that one life might be saved by it. Truth be known with the second one; I was actually grateful that she was no longer suffering in this world. Things were really dreadful for her. The third, I am still working through. She left behind small children. How do you ever get over that?
I don’t blame myself for their deaths although you always wonder “Could I have done more? Did I ask the right questions? Was I really listening to them?” Life was complicated for these three young women, they had lost hope and were weary. They saw suicide as the only way to solve their problems. It was a permanent solution to life’s many temporary problems.
Whatever your convictions are, thinking and speaking about suicide is a highly controversial topic. Regrettably, with the death statistics as high as they are; at some point suicide will make its way into your life, your home, your workplace, your well-being.
Suicide Isn't Intended to be Reckless, Rash, Irresponsible, or Crazy
Ask yourself, is it a sin? Is it selfish? Can I understand the emotional state of the suicidal mind, that people are lonely, stressed, in pain or ill? Have I ever considered killing myself when things seemed unbearable? Have I lost someone to suicide? Did it change my perspective on it? What are my personal or professional beliefs about assisted-suicide? Maybe you have a variety of other questions or concerns about this topic in general.
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